..solitude is my refuge..

boredom

2008-07-27T20:26:00.003+08:00

a very tiring and worthless day for me. first, i wasnt able to attend mass, which is the first task in my list. and second, it rained all day so i wasnt able to go out. boohoo for me!
this day really sucks! anyway. i finally had the chance to open this again, haha :D nobody has left any comment YET, (i believe) haha :D but soon this will have lots na! haha D: ill try to update and promote it in multiply! :) haha

okay, so yesterday was the worst day EVER! chy just got back from bohol, so i picked my bessy up :) twas supposed to be a fun fun day ! but hell!! the car that i used broke down! we stayed in taft for like an hour just to make the car start! after a momen, which had made us pissed to death! someone finally asked if we needed help! whew. he called for a mechanic, and zoom! after 098098 years he came!

he was really speedy! he opened the hood, then checked the machine, asked me to start the car and whoala!!!! damn
it started!! we were really happy coz he really did a great job,, he wasnt even able to release sweat or something! ..
he's so great!!

NOT!! not that great! we asked him how much, and he wasnt answering! the pedi cab driver who was with him answered SWIFTLY! as in ! we werent even asking him ! geee he really had a thick face on! we paid'em for like 500 bucks . which is not !! a very reasonable fee for the guy! damn it!! the pedi cab driver even asked for money! he pointed out that he was the one who drove the mechanic to us!! hello ??? like we asked him to bring the mechanic with his cab!!!! fuck that a-hole!!

okay so.. after the whole thingo! we went to chy's pad, she fixed her stuff, and tried to win her parents heart to let her out of the house! haha :D she was acting so nice! hahaha .. anyhoo.. she did a great job! haha.. twas a success :D hehe :d.. we went to plant, strolled and ate at mcdo :D .. haha :d twas a fun night :D
..
after doing those shizts, buvie, ja and toni , came to plant.. and we kind of met up with them :D hehe.. we werent able to spend much time with the fellas coz they had a party to attend to .. boohoo for us!.. oh well :D i asked if buvie could stay... so there, we walked around, and i decided to just bring her to the place :) haha :D

after .. we went back to chy's pad, surfed the net! and took a rest! whew.. a very very long day for me.. got home kanina lang around 930 in the morning! hahaha :D anyway. altogether. i really really enjoyed the day :D

til... whenever :D ciao!

--HOWDY--

2008-07-20T15:01:00.002+08:00

She runs as she was held by the torture that's been with her
It wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be
There was nothing wrong but the memory that still lingers

It was nothing more than friendship
But there was this pact that kept them together

The other wasn’t happy because there was something missing
It wasn’t the time neither the feeling
..
the feeling was there, but the feeling they've been clutching on to
was different, for the one is in love and the other one's not

days have passed and still the other kept his being shut
it wasn’t for long that he realized that it was time for him to go and get his chance on

he got on his feet but to his surprise it was too late
the lass has been hit, hit by a feeling that the guy wanted
but now, the feeling wasn’t for him

for once they were friends, near as lovers but time pushed them farther
leaving them nothing but the feeling that at a stance was blurred

--another thing that i made kanina lang haha :D-- anyhoo. my point:

maybe sometimes we think that there's more to come, so we wait
but then, is waiting always worth it? I guess not. Yes everything takes time, and sure everything will be healed as time tells them to. time sets things for us, some are good, and sadly some are not that good. Yes we need it, but it's what we do while waiting that makes it worth it. it's choosing the right patch, and making the most of it. none of our hopes would be noticed unless we act upon it. it is sweet when we do something that our loved ones wouldn’t know we're really doing, but isn’t it more felt, when they see and they know how we feel? Then again, do they really want that? Even if it's sweet, do they really want them? coz if they don’t, they would never get a hand on the things that you want them to feel.

The point here is that, we are never more than what we do, we have to consider the things or other rationales to make those wanting be brought.
In love, we seek for these parcels that are way beyond our reach, we mourn for the things that we dint get, but have we realized or have we ever thought of putting in mind that, they have their on thinking as well, you may feel the love that has been filling you two, but is that feeling the same? Has it reached that person, in the wave, that is the same as yours?

Doing something we know would be remarkable, is always not enough to say that we did our best, it's how people look at them, we have different elevations, and with that no one can say that "you're the best", neither the worst.

---needed---

2008-07-20T14:51:00.002+08:00

i take a step into a place no one has ever been to
i am inside of a trap nobody knows how to break
i see lovely faces yet my heart's not beating
one gave me a twinge still i was frozen
my mind was eager to let myself enter into one of it's corners
but my heart kept pushin' all away
as i sit in the patch, that now i call 'home'
i seek for a space, a space that would let me go
in one way or another
i am sure that im still dreaming
i just hope that one would come and wake me up
for another dream that would touch my heart and call as my fantasy

okay so i think i made this.. last 2 months lang.. gee i can't believe that these things do happen, i mean ..ive had my share of extreme bliss, but hell!! 2 consecutive failures in my love life. i think that's hell UNFAIR.. i think i deserve to be happy! (well i just think so) but really.. i mean .. gawd.. i always work my arse out with everything that i do.. but i always end up getting beaten up..not literally, but in a sense.. yeah i guess. getting beaten up is actually better that having to feel these aches.. anyway.. PAST is already a memory :D we needn't talk about those :D hehe :D let's all enjoy life :)

->smoke<-

2008-07-20T14:46:00.002+08:00

alone in this abyss i have made
i see none but the aches i could hardly take
i am bewildered by world's comfort
and wish for my heart to be in port
the smoke that's been choking me
is all at hand
nearing so fast kept me numb
i gasp for some no one could hold
i seek for the truth,

truth, that should be told

made this after all the shitty scenarios that've happened during summer. hell hard to take then.. but i finally had gotten over those. :D haha .. comments would be much appreciated :) ciao:D

--apology--

2008-07-20T14:41:00.002+08:00

a simple sorry would do no good
i know ive been a jerk
but i also know that i have loved you
--not better than i had with others, that's for sure
but the bliss that you gave was really nothing to them, i was evidently insured
the gap was never a problem
but it was something wrong, and was visibly certain
i kept myself away coz i believe it was better
i just wish that i couldve had the just to explain, and not let the pain linger
i was moved with an ebullient being, that i will forever cherish;

... always, til time hands knowledge to stop and to let me know that it's over...

another entry from my multiply.. old shizt already.. hehe. just wanted to share some of the shingles that ive done :) ..
hit you with another. next time :) have a great sunday fellas :)

FORTS!

2008-07-19T03:06:00.002+08:00

another day with some of my friends :) met up with kwini at rockwell, chilled at our old school! and hell we were so late. we dint able to see any student. except for the basketball players that were having their training then. super bonding with kwini..
it was really unusual coz we talked about old stuff, which was a bit odd.. she handed me knowledge regarding this girl! who FUCKIN broke her heart. twas really a PAST story, but it was really a big deal for her.. (mind you) she cried a river!! hahaha :))
i dint know if i should laugh coz the guards were staring at us.. or to comfort her coz she was really crying hard.. well as a true friend...
i just laughed! hahaha :)) comforting her wont do any good.. i tell you IT WONT.. haha
anyway. an hour passed and chy came.. we went to pancake house, to shoot for her video.. and i was the STAR of it! hahaha :))
after the shoot, we ate dinner! and hell we were effin surprised to see the bill.. their prices went ...whew very high! anyhoo
we had a great time. after a while,, mikee came, so we transferred to dencio's where we had a lot of fun!
really really fun!

it's all over

2008-07-19T02:49:00.001+08:00

i thought i have found the one for me
i thought it was my time to be at the top of my being
i was stupid enough to let myself think that you were okay
and that you were serious in some way
but i thought wrong

everything that has been laid,
and in front of me, i see none but just a memory of what we had
and what we used to be

i see you in this place that i can hardly grasp
i have fallen head over heels with you
but i fell badly
it was too much that it caused us misery

as i fly away from the feeling that we've built
i leave with nothing but the shingles of my love
bigger than anyone that could ever place or even make.

-- it's not YET our time.. let me know if i could catch you.. im just here --